It just hurts to see it all ending like that.
We all get hurt at some point, but it's a fact that most of the pain could have been avoided by different actions.
I don't blame myself for feeling too much. No. Never will. Guess not many can see / relate with the depth I have within. The flame keeps burning, even after several attempts to put it out. Might be seen as a karma, I guess. But that's how life is.
And people...
Some are.
Some are not.
I truly hate how humans can be vulnerable.
A.k.a: I have this vulnerability in me.
Yes, I am one of them and I know that pretty well. Doesn't even matter all the stuff I've been through before, I guess I haven't learn yet. I do have higher standards now, and my "filter" is harder than before, but somehow I always end up letting people going though it, and it always goes to hell.
At some point I wondered if the problem was me. If I was good enough for anyone in the world. But yes I am. I'm just trying it in the wrong way. I'm aiming the wrong people. And NOW I acknowledge that the first of my targets must be ME. And only myself.
I'm not expecting the world from anyone.
I can give the world to myself.
I'm not expecting anyone to kiss away all my darkness and pain. Because this is part of me, always have been, and always will. The darkest corner I've ever sat was the one inside my head.
I'm expecting someone who can make me feel comfortable with all the tenebrosity I have inside. And I'm not talking about mental issues, as I know I'm pretty healthy and I don't like romanticizing paranoia or depression as everyone else. I'm talking about the loneliness that ravages me every now and then. 99.9999% of the world cannot understand.
And well, being honest, I can't either.
We all get hurt at some point, but it's a fact that most of the pain could have been avoided by different actions.
I don't blame myself for feeling too much. No. Never will. Guess not many can see / relate with the depth I have within. The flame keeps burning, even after several attempts to put it out. Might be seen as a karma, I guess. But that's how life is.
And people...
Some are.
Some are not.
I truly hate how humans can be vulnerable.
A.k.a: I have this vulnerability in me.
Yes, I am one of them and I know that pretty well. Doesn't even matter all the stuff I've been through before, I guess I haven't learn yet. I do have higher standards now, and my "filter" is harder than before, but somehow I always end up letting people going though it, and it always goes to hell.
At some point I wondered if the problem was me. If I was good enough for anyone in the world. But yes I am. I'm just trying it in the wrong way. I'm aiming the wrong people. And NOW I acknowledge that the first of my targets must be ME. And only myself.
I'm not expecting the world from anyone.
I can give the world to myself.
I'm not expecting anyone to kiss away all my darkness and pain. Because this is part of me, always have been, and always will. The darkest corner I've ever sat was the one inside my head.
I'm expecting someone who can make me feel comfortable with all the tenebrosity I have inside. And I'm not talking about mental issues, as I know I'm pretty healthy and I don't like romanticizing paranoia or depression as everyone else. I'm talking about the loneliness that ravages me every now and then. 99.9999% of the world cannot understand.
And well, being honest, I can't either.
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